being fabulous.

I recently received an interesting email from an anonymous reader in response to my first post of 2009.

Dear La C.,

I know you get hundreds, maybe even thousands, of emails telling you how fabulous your blog is! So I will resist turning this email into a page long list on how inspiring, amazing, etc. you & your site are by simply saying that I am in consensus with the rest of your admirers. 

So today, when I read your newest post, “hello, 2009” (which I absolutely loved!), I felt incredibly inspired by your mantra & wallpaper idea. One of my main ones, like yours, was “be fabulous.” This is where my question comes in: how do you be/become fabulous? It sounds like you lead the most fabulous of lives: young, fashionable, talented, & with an internship at a fashion magazine to boast. I want to live like that! So where do I begin? How do I feel glamorous every inch of the day, even on lazy Sundays (well I know that now thanks to your post!)? And where do I get the confidence you have? Everytime I read one of your posts I get this vibe of humble yet undeniable self-confidence. You sound so personable, friendly, & incredibly fabulous. 

I hope you have a great 2009! ~ Love, anon.

When I first read the email, I think I burst out in laughter – I hardly get hundreds of emails (not even close!); just a few, rather. But the few I get from readers like Miss Anonymous‘ truly make my day, even the most boring or gloomiest of days, exponentially better. This email seriously brought a smile to my face – one so big (like those ear to ear grins you’ve read in books but never thought it could translate into real life). I don’t even think I can say that I’m flattered – it’s even beyond that; for once, I am at a lack of words. All I can say to you, darling, is thank you – from the bottom of my heart. I wish there was more to say than such simple words.

How to be Fabulous

Being fabulous isn’t simply a measure of your material belongings; it’s also a state of mind. Sure, a splurge on a designer bag or indulging occasionally can help in feeling fabulous, somewhat. But to be fabulous also requires self-acceptance: a bit of confidence and peace of mind with yourself. Because those are the most important things – the key to being truly happy with who and where you are in the world – that cannot be bought. Ever. Yes it can be feigned to some extent, with a happy smile for the world to see; the pedestrians you walk past in the streets will think you seem fabulous in the few seconds you come into contact. But a lack of confidence is detectable. The way in which you carry yourself, the way your eyes look when you talk or smile, etc. when interacting with others can tell people indirectly how you feel about yourself. 

    

I. Acquiring Confidence

How to find confidence and love yourself is something no one can teach you. Rather, it is only through a journey of finding yourself and accepting individuality where you can gain this confidence. Remember that confidence is not synonymous to being the most beautiful in the crowd. Take Julie Andrews. Why was it that she, out of a handful of other talented women, chosen? It’s undeniable that she’s beautiful and incredibly talented. But it can be said that she is not the most gorgeous. Yet it is in the way she carries herself that makes her all the more beautiful. So begin with the simpler things that can help you in feeling self-confident.

 Hold your head up high. Chin up, shoulders up, standing straight and chest out just a bit. You hear this from your mother or your respective ballet teacher every time you’re at the bar. Cliche, yes, but it works. It elongates your neck, gives you an inch or two, and gives a first good impression of elegance.

 Be someone you adore. It’s one of the easiest ways to feign confidence when you’re unsure of yourself. How would Audrey Hepburn act and feel in “x” situation? Think of the emotions and body language she would possess – then emulate it. Smile gently, stand tall, and accept compliments without self deprivation. Slowly, you’ll grow into it, and become more confident.

 Look at yourself in the mirror. For once, it’s okay to be vain! It’s easy to fall into the usual “Ugh I hate this body part, I want to change this body part” etc, etc. But really look, and think of all the compliments you’ve ever received. If you have beautiful eyes, lips, a profile, what have you, embrace it. Never overlook it. Admire yourself, and tell yourself you’re beautiful. And while you’re at it, pose at different angles. Find which angle you look best at, and commit that to muscle memory. So when a friend whips out the camera, you won’t shy away or complain about being un-photogenic. 

 Walk like Marilyn Monroe. Wear your favorite heels (one of the most iconic items of sex appeal; as Britney Spears’ song Lace & Leather goes: “heels six inch make a boy wanna bite his lip…”) and practice your walk! Swing your hips just a bit, shoulders back & head up. Having a good walk can help you feel sexier in an instant, knowing that those who are watching you from behind are looking in admiration.

 Wear red! I must have mentioned this too many times for my own good. But bear with me here; it boosts self confidence and makes you feel bold and unstoppable. It’s perfectly fine to seek help in this way. Paint your nails red. Wear red lip gloss. Slip into a little red dress. Somehow this color makes a majority of the female population glow! 

 Take your time when you’re getting ready. Put on your favorite outfit, wear makeup, and go out. Sometimes an outfit can make you feel a certain way. Embrace it, wear it, and work it! 

 Smile.  A tint of your favorite gloss can help with that.

    

II. And now, on the route of fabulosity!

So now that the first and most important part of being fabulous is done with, a bit of indulging (moderated, of course) can help massively! 

 Start with an inspiration board. Put old magazine to good use! Tear out images and tape/clip/thumbtack them to an empty wall and on your closet doors where you can see them. They serve not just as beautiful wall decor, but also as a daily source of inspiration. Even on you’re laziest day, you’ll feel motivated to still dress up (even if it’s just a bit). And that can help immensely with perking up your mood!

the closet of jaime (jaime wears black); one of my style inspirations!

 What you wear underneath. Pretty lingerie is key! Silly as it may sound, pretty little things, lacy, colorful, sexy, whatever boosts your confidence, even if it’s just you that sees them. Granny panties are hardly attractive & they won’t make you feel any prettier; not to mention, panty lines are a girl’s worst nightmare. Designer bras and underwear are not necessary, darlings. But investing in a good bra that makes you feel and look as sexy as you should feel is crucial (and it instantly slims you about five pounds!). Buy adorable panties. I guarantee: they will do their job.

LouLou Loves You knickers, in peacock blue.

 Invest in the basics and classics. Sure, you can buy them cheap at Forever 21 (I do love their $4.99 tees though!). But when you know you’ll be wearing and re-wearing certain pieces, don’t skimp. Frugality is important, especially in economic times like this (darn the economy), but keep in mind that dividing the price tag by the number of times you wear it will ultimately be worth it. Cheap basics may be, well, cheap, but after a few washings they will look what they cost. And constantly replacing them will add up. Indulging just a bit can make you feel a bit more fabulous, even if you’re simply wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater. Do invest in: denim, black pencil skirt, tailored blazer, cashmere sweater, leather boots, basic black pumps. The crisp button down can simply be stolen from your boyfriend’s, dad’s, or brother’s closet. Or thrifted, rather. And the basic tees can be bought cheaply. Hanes are the best!

 … which leads me to the topic of everyday luxury. Everyday luxury is not spending wildly with everything you buy. It’s a sort of investment, where you spend a little bit more (or a lot more) on something that you will use almost indefinitely. Eventually the cost per wear will even out; it is worth it in the end. Some choose to spend on cosmetics, some on shoes, some on bags. I am, of course, that bag lady. Though most of my bags were given to me as gifts, they are still a form of everyday luxury that can boost confidence and make a girl feel a bit more important. Why save the expensive items for specific occasions?

 Upgrade! Upgrade, like the tampon ad and Beyonce’s single. Changing little things in your life can help you feel more fabulous! For example, developing a skin care routine can make you feel refreshed immediately in the morning before you head out. Buy yummy lotions (Victoria’s Secret, darlings!) and slather yourself in body butter. Treat yourself to a home spa: give yourself a facial sauna, don a facial mask (cucumbers and all), and finish it all with a manicure/pedicure. Buy comfy slippers to wear around the house. Wear pretty sets of pajamas. Sleep with an eye mask on. Use the delicate china you usually save for guests to drink your daily cup of tea or coffee. Eat chocolate! Wear perfume everyday, & spritz a bit of it in your bedroom so all you smell is lovliness. Wear jewelry around the house! Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner from a fabulously arranged plate, aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Little things like these can make you feel ten times more fabulous than you already are!

 Do a bit of yoga in the morning. It helps you feel refreshed and ready for anything!

 Make your work space beautiful.  So that when you’re typing away at the laptop (like I am now), you don’t feel uninspired or annoyed by the mess. Put up inspirational pictures, clear the clutter, and type away with your freshly painted, ring-clad nails!

 Design a signature. You can be as extravagant or superfluous as you would like; think like John Hancock! Don’t just scribble your name on the receipt or check; your name is a representation of you. It’s such a tiny thing, but trust me, having a beautiful, jealousy-inducing signature can make you feel like a star! 

 Watch fabulous old movies. I particularly love My Fair Lady. Obsessed, rather, with everything about it. These fabulous movies can do good in inspiring you! Emulate what your favorite character does for fun!

 Be polite! Because of that golden rule. Well not just that, but having impeccably exquisite manners makes you a true lady! Smiling sweetly at the adorable boy at Starbucks and saying “thank you” will mean a lot both to you and him. Spread a bit of happiness, and you’ll be treated by others as the lady you are.

 Put your best foot forward. Classic pumps, sky-high stilettos, crazy shoes (aka Rodarte) can give an instant shot of glamour to any outfit! And that extra three or so inches that does wonders in elongating your legs is quite miraculous.

 Carry a fabulous bag on your arm. (Maybe this is just a personal preference).

 Bring a journal or planner everywhere you go. Because fabulous ladies are always incredibly organized. And there’s nothing more sophisticated than whipping out a beautifully binded book (oh Moleskine! I will own you!) to jot down a name, a number, or an event. Or a spontaneous idea. 

 Have an optimistic outlook on life. & everything else, for that matter. Smile, have fun, enjoy yourself. Obstacles and mistakes help you learn and appreciate what you have now. Laugh, darlings! It’s contagious. And it burns calories and works out the stomach area.

    

So, dearest anonymous reader, I hope this helps. This topic was a bit different from what I usually write about – but I enjoyed it, nonetheless! Being fabulous is not equivalent to what you have. It begins with how you feel about yourself and your own standing in the world. It starts with self acceptance, appreciation, embracing the good, and having a positive outlook on life. Then the little bits of worldly changes come in as the sprinkles. 

xoxo,

La C.