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heartbreak hotel.

28 March 2009

For dearest Molly.

elle-la-woman-2

Dealing with heartbreaks is hardly easy; mending your broken heart is even more difficult. Sometimes all you want to do is seclude yourself from everything, immersing yourself in an empty void of loneliness parallel to the one you feel in your heart. Numbing your own feelings and ignoring what happened seems the only way to forget it – but instead, you are forcing yourself to stay where you are and preventing yourself – and your heart – from moving on. As painful as heartbreak is, it is inevitable – disappointment does exist in this not-so-perfect world of ours. It is only human to feel the hurt and betrayal; to scream, to cry yourself to sleep, to be angry. Those are real, healthy emotions. 

But as strange as it seems, that hurt helps you grow, allowing you to become a stronger person. Of course there is always the possibility of heartbreak to impact someone in a negative way, depending on the magnitude of the situation or his/her personality. But it is more often than not that a heartbreak leaves a positive mark on someone. The pain is only a part of the growing process; the rest is self realization, a finding of happiness on your own, and indulging in that single status.

Writing this is rather difficult for me, I must admit – perhaps that’s why I’ve put it off for just a bit. I have not yet gone through a heartbreak or a breakup. So this is one article I write not from personal experience, but from what I have been exposed to. I have seen friends fall in love, then fall out of love. Or fall in love and have it end with tears of hurt and confusion. Thus established, I shall write of what I’ve done to help and perhaps how I would potentially handle the mending of a heartbreak if I should be in that position.

elle-la-woman-1

Immerse yourself not in loneliness, but with ones you love. Plan outings with friends or a sleepover with the girls – your friends have always been there for you through whenever and wherever. They will be the first to be by your side, offering you all the support and comfort you need to get through this. So let them. A bit of retail therapy helps, of course, since it does (1) take your mind off of the recent heartbreak (2) a little shopping always helps (3) spotting cuties is always a plus. And gossiping away with the girls is one of the best ways to vent and let out those feelings. You can cry, scream, blow your nose. Guaranteed, your girls will be there for you. So don’t push them away.

Write. Even if you’ve never kept a journal, it is the perfect time to simply grab a sheet or open up a new Word document. Write/type as much and as long as you need to do let all those negative feelings out of your system. I do know this: if I’m ever feeling down or angry at something/someone, as I type or write away, (as weird as this is) it seems that all those feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion flow out of me and onto that paper/screen. They need not be pent-up within you. 

Indulge. Yes gluttony is bad, and comfort food isn’t always the best way to relieve yourself of sadness, but a little bit of indulgence here and there isn’t too much of a bad thing. Pampering yourself allows you to love yourself. Being selfish allows you to realize that you don’t need him/her to make you feel special. Buy a box of truffles, treat yourself to a little present. Why not?

Take a walk. If the weather permits, that is. On the western hemisphere it is getting warmer (finally!). Wake up early, grab a coat and a banana (bananas release endorphins!), and take a walk. No iPod, no phone – nothing. Just you and the morning air, and a few critters and cars that happen to be awake. It’s the best time to do some thinking without any interruption. And a breath of fresh air always clears the mind. If the weather is terrible, or just plain cold, walk around in a museum. Art is a beautiful thing; allow yourself to be surrounded by it. And museums are always quiet – also another perfect environment for thinking.

Do some yoga. Exercise. Dance. Why? Because yoga relaxes the mind, the soul, and the body. And exercising (jogging, sports, dancing) releases endorphins. Join a dance class for a day; allowing your body to move to the music is rather relaxing. If I ever am upset or mad before dancing, those feelings always end up leaving rather magically. All I feel is the music.

Embrace being single. Because when you’re single, you have no commitments. Meaning yes, you can finally flirt with the adorable boy at your favorite coffee shop knowing that there is no one who will hold you back in giving him your number.

I do hope this helps, dear Molly, and anyone else who is in need of this. It’s nothing new, ingenious, or original, quite honestly. All of what you’ve heard, but hopefully, is still helpful in compiling what I do know in one place. 

Bisous,

La C.

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43 Comments leave one →
  1. Alize Morand permalink
    29 March 2009 12:04 am

    This is the sweetest and most useful post of all time! (unfortunately VERY useful for me and my little heart) 😉
    You may have not experienced it, but you’ve nailed the perfect remedies, genius! 🙂
    My personal touch: dark chocolate ice-cream, cocktails with girlies and working hard for an exciting project that takes your mind of guys and makes you feel rewarded and valued in another part of your life and thus boost self-esteem! 🙂
    Bisous bisous bisous!! x

  2. 29 March 2009 12:49 am

    Another great post with excellent advice! Having experienced immense heartbreak and hurt, I can vouch for the advice above being spot-on. Yoga and pilates were great for quietening the mind, and for an hour or so a day, it allowed me to shut the negative thoughts away. It is great that I am now on the other side of this, changed, yes, but stronger because I made it through…
    xx

  3. meetvigdis permalink
    29 March 2009 5:32 am

    Aaah. Love this post. It doesn’t only help if your heart is broken but also if your feeling depressed in general.

    Love reading your blog:D

  4. 29 March 2009 6:24 am

    DARLING YOUR ABSOLUTLY RIGHT WITH THE “HEARTBREAKHOTEL”:::ESPECIALY WITH THE SINGLE PART!!!….I started my blog new so if you like take a look honey and thank you for always beeing a inspiration for me!your words are written with so much emotion in it absolutly love it! you make my day!

    kiss’n hugs

  5. 29 March 2009 6:32 am

    I love this post, I’m saving it for future reference.

  6. 29 March 2009 7:57 am

    Amazing pictures and great text.
    I hope you find it OK that I added your link to my blog?
    x Laura
    http://Stylecoaching.blogspot.com

  7. 29 March 2009 9:20 am

    Really great post! I think a lot of people reading this will feel that you have helped them. For one who have not experienced it, you seem to know a lot!=)

  8. 29 March 2009 9:23 am

    Really beautiful photos, and wonderful advice! ❤

    xoxo,
    S-C

  9. 29 March 2009 9:58 am

    Wonderful and sincere advice as usual, I really think writing does help too, it’s such a good way to vent frustrations or simply to set one’s mind at ease!

  10. rossovelvet permalink
    29 March 2009 10:14 am

    Amazing and really ‘intense’ post. It totally makes sense, really, you just got the point of it… thank you, with all my (our) heart(s) ?

  11. 29 March 2009 10:38 am

    Hello La C. This is a great post. It’s full of good advice. Breaking up is hard to do. I’ve had it happen over the years. Sometimes it’s been me that got dumped, other times I did the dumping & sometimes it’s a mutual thing. It can be hard to deal with. The last girlfriend I had moved away to be closer to her family. We decided that a long distance relationship would be difficult to maintain. It has been hard. I’ve missed her extremely. I hope you’ve had a good weekend. Take care. I’m back blogging on Monday so I hope you’ll check it out. Thanks. Cheers!

  12. 29 March 2009 11:21 am

    This is such a good post! All of it really good advice as well.
    I think being single is a really good time to work on yourself, and improve what you want to improve and spend time on what you want to spend time on.

  13. 29 March 2009 12:17 pm

    what a sweet post! i’m one of those people who’s always really cautious and try not to fall for anyone first, so i suppose i won’t fall madly in love either, which makes my life quite borning!! 🙂

    xx

  14. 29 March 2009 12:44 pm

    Great post honey! Heartbreak hotel is not a great place to be :o). I would love to swap linkies. just added you to mine.
    kisses,
    Marian.

  15. 29 March 2009 12:52 pm

    Thank for this post. Writing has always helped me as well 🙂

  16. thebaglady permalink
    29 March 2009 2:16 pm

    Beautifully written post.

    I find it so interesting that you can write about something you’ve never personally experienced yet write with the same amount of conviction & knowledge & wisdom as if you did go through it.

  17. 29 March 2009 2:18 pm

    Thank you all for leaving such sweet comments; I really do try my hardest to write & give advice to the best of my ability; knowing that it has helped someone, somewhere, at some time is the best reward. So thank you.

    thebaglady: You have always been so sweet!!

  18. 29 March 2009 2:35 pm

    This post is so beautiful and I’m sure it is so helpful to so many bloggers out there. Your writing is just so wonderful and I never get tired of reading your posts!

  19. 29 March 2009 3:07 pm

    Thank you, I really needed to read this. I’ve got some emotional turmoil I’m going through and this was very helpful to read.

    • 29 March 2009 4:00 pm

      JGeb: Thank you so much; reading your comment really made my day!

      Phyrra: I hope you’ll be alright. I know everything will be okay soon =] ❤

  20. 29 March 2009 3:48 pm

    This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

  21. 29 March 2009 3:50 pm

    Awesome photographs x

  22. 29 March 2009 4:02 pm

    Thank you for your comment, dear La C.
    Your blog is divine, and about this post, I have to agree.
    Wish you a wonderful evening,

    FM~FP

    PS. I added you on both of my List.

  23. 29 March 2009 4:28 pm

    love this post, as usual. you definitely have a knack for doling out advice with the warmth and concern of an older sister, even if you haven’t experienced heartbreak firsthand.

  24. 29 March 2009 4:39 pm

    WOW FABULOUS post, great advices!!!!

    xoxo

  25. kristine permalink
    29 March 2009 5:05 pm

    perfect timing, really, lc!

    i needed this badly. and as always, reading your posts & “pearls of wisdom” (lol) always make me feel 23894987 times better. so thank you.

    you’ve never been heartbroken?! dangggg! lucky you!

  26. 29 March 2009 5:09 pm

    I hate feeling heartbroken. Ice cream helps =)

  27. 29 March 2009 5:22 pm

    Oh I’ve missed you, darling!! xx

    Thanks for popping by.. how are things. Adoring your posts as much as ever. Just went through the last 2 pages worth!! :]

    Lovely as always. Maybe a model story again sometime?

    • 29 March 2009 6:32 pm

      Fashion Chalet: Missed you, too, FC! Aw, thanks =] And perhaps! I haven’t done my petit novellas in the longest time!

      Emily: Ice cream does help a lot =]

      Kristine: I’m so sorry to hear that =[ I do know that you’ll feel better soon; time heals =].

      Roxanne: That’s the sweetest comment I’ve yet heard =] Thank you!!

      Fashion Moment: Thanks! ❤

  28. 29 March 2009 8:24 pm

    Love the posts!
    & Adore your blog! Keep it up!
    How do I follow?

    xo

  29. abdcforever permalink
    29 March 2009 8:26 pm

    ur like the older sister i never had! well, or mom, since u write so well. but still. good advice. im gonna keep this one saved so i can look bak if anything happens.

  30. 29 March 2009 9:06 pm

    Fantastic tips and ideas that everyone can use!

  31. 29 March 2009 9:15 pm

    great post hon, love the accompanying photos too x

  32. 30 March 2009 6:26 am

    you have hit the mark with this one.

    only just emerging from a valley of heartbreak (it really can get dark down there!) i can confirm that all of the above points are key.

    once the pain has gone the happiness that comes (and knowing it is from within yourself not someone else) is like nothing else you will ever feel…bliss!!!! i find myself smiling everyday and happy with the world for no particular reason. dont feel bad for being happy without your (ex)other half. you can hold on to the love that you shared whilst being happy with where you’re at.

    anyway, im sorta preaching to myself now so ill leave it that.

    keep doing what you’re doing la couturier, you are amazing!

    xx

  33. 30 March 2009 9:44 am

    Trust me, being single is more fun! Because flirting is more fun! How do I know? I’m married! Hahaha.

    By the way, in case you’re interested, I have a stylish giveaway from Mr and Mrs Smith hotels from my blog, in case you’re interested.

  34. 30 March 2009 10:29 am

    Great advices! I like the dance and joga one:)! I think it’s most important to relax yourself, because only then you can enjoy life!

  35. 30 March 2009 2:03 pm

    this is a lovely post. i too have not really experienced it fully, what i have experienced is painful enough and i dread the day it happens to me on a larger scale! but you are so right, these things make us so much stronger!

  36. 30 March 2009 7:32 pm

    this is so perceptive of you, particularly because you have no direct experience to reference. very insightful and spot on! xx

  37. 30 March 2009 9:15 pm

    jen laceda: I totally and completely agree. I love being single – I have total freedom that allows me to flirt with whomever, whenever ;]

    lindley: Thank you! ❤

  38. 1 April 2009 6:34 am

    great inspiring post. ive got a girlfriend who needs to read this. gonna forward it to her fabolous self.thanks for sharing.

  39. gabs permalink
    2 April 2009 12:09 pm

    thank you. I needed this.
    (ediots friend)

Trackbacks

  1. La Couturier « Rough Review
  2. Dear ABC | How to mend a broken heart | a bit coquettish

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