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the stylist’s notebook | the first date

19 January 2009


I received an e-mail from one of my lovely readers, Helen:

Hello, my beloved La Couturier, Excuse my English, because I’m not a native speaker and it’s not perfect. But soddenly it came to my mind that I can address my question to you. So. I can always find what to put on to some parrty, but it’s always a huge problem for me to pick up an appropriate oufit for the date – especially the first one! How to be seductive, but not vulgar? Is there any universal option? Please give me an advice! However if you are not interested, I can understand and I will go on readin’ your blog anyway!!!

P.S. I just adore it! You are doin’ a great job and keep goin’!!! From Ukraine with love, Helen.

Helen, darling, you are too sweet. And of course I will answer your question! First dates do always cause the most fretting, hair-pulling, and panicking for most girls. It’s quite the problematic situation with the nerves – so dressing to feel your best can help with remaining confident (the boy’s already yours, hon!) even through those slightly awkward moments. Wear something that you love.

And of course, we ladies always want to impress the men on that first date; seduce them, without seeming too aggressive or trashy; looking impeccable without coming off as trying too hard – you know, the lot. So yes, you can wear that fitted dress or top – but if it’s too tight for comfort or makes you feel rather exposed, don’t wear it. It’s already an stressful situation; don’t make yourself feel any more uncomfortable! Not to mention: leave a little for the imagination, no? 😉

So first things first: where is this first date taking place? Consider the setting so you know how to dress: is it a casual date (movies, grabbing lunch, a walk, etc.) or something a bit more formal (dinner, formal dinner, etc.)? For a date during the day or a casual meeting, you can wear what you normally wear – just amped up a teensy bit. Evening or formal dates are more exciting; bring out the dress, girls!



Keep it simple and sweet. Stick with the basics; nothing out of the ordinary or un-you. After all, we wouldn’t want to look like we tried too hard, would we? For pointers, those of you who have a copy of the current issue of U.S. Elle, should definitely read the article, “I Want You To Want Me” [edit: thanks for the link, Rita!] – it gives great starters for a sure-to-attract-male-sexiness in what you wear (and is quite possibly the most humorous article I’ve read yet! For those of you who don’t have that copy & don’t know where to start…

If you don’t know where to start, limit the color palette. (Most) Men recognize fashion if it is black, white, red, or, occasionally, gray. These are the boldest colors of colors. And universally friendly!

Jeans are your best friend. A date doesn’t mean you must go out of your way to wear  a dress or skirt in unbearably cold weather! Them boys like tight jeans – but don’t automatically reach for the skinniest of skinnies! Find a pair of jeans that fit your body type (skinny jeans aren’t for everyone!). If they’re somewhat fitted to accentuate your curves, i.e., the booty, your date will be quite happy.

Keep it simple! Fitted, V-neck tees, with just a teensy glimpse of a cleavage is incredibly sexy. Any variation of a v-neck (or scoop neck, perhaps?) is perfect; cashmere sweaters, black/white tees, etc. The GQ staff advises this (and if the men say so, then I think it’s a sure winner!)

Heels. They’ve always been an iconic symbol of classic femininity and sex (think Marilyn Monroe!) The very article had quoted men saying: “No man will complain if a woman wears heels!” I wish I could tell you exactly why, but I believe that question must be answered by one of the male species. But what I do know is common knowledge: heels elongate the legs to create the illusion of a perfect proportion of torso to legs. And the give its wearer a hip-swinging gait.

Natural Makeup.  GQ editors claim that men like women who look natural. So a bit of beige, brown, or bronze shadow with brown liner and a bit of mascara is enough for the eyes. Chapstick, or a light, sheer gloss in a yummy flavor is perfect. And you can skimp on blush; it’s inevitable to flush a bit on this first date, darling!


Leave your hair down. A head of long, full hair makes a man happy. My guess as to why? I have none. Once again, if a man says so, then it must be so. The reasons will forever be unknown to the female population.

Casual dresses and skirts are perfectly fine too; just be sure they aren’t too low cut or too short; the most flattering length would be (oh, those school codes!) from your fingertips to an inch above the knee. Wear a little cardigan or opaque tights if you’re afraid the ensemble is a bit too risque for your taste (or for a first date!). Slightly sheer tops are always super cheeky; but do balance it with a higher neckline or a conservative cut. Have fun with what you wear! And don’t forget: in that purse of yours, make sure you bring anything you need to touch up over the course of the date: concealer, lipgloss, mascara – the necessities.


It’s time to bring out that special LBD; but once again, I must mention that you should shy away from the shorter hemlines or risque cuts. You want your date to notice you for you; not wholly for your assets. That said, mid-length dresses with sweetheart necklines, spaghetti straps, halter necklines, etc. are perfectly suitable. Slightly shorter dresses should be paired with black tights to cover a bit of skin. Think simple – after all, simple is chic!

first-date-2During such dates, slightly more intense make up is perfectly seductive: smokey eyes in browns or grays are truly smoldering, when paired with baby pink or nude lips. Be sure to blend well so the shadows don’t seem too harsh or overwhelming. And I personally would advise sticking to matte shades; anything too shimmery or glittery (Urban Decay!) can be a bit too distracting on that first date. But do draw attention to the eyes and lips – they are quite the important features on a woman.


Or, you can opt for a nice top, pants, & heels combination. Black pants, fitted, of course, paired with heels are a definite must. A fancier top or blouse will work very well; I particularly think sheer or slightly metallic fabrics work well. One shouldered pieces, like this ruched, Grecian top are gorgeous. Loose, off the shoulder blouses are beautiful as well. I would love to be sipping a little glass of champagne in this outfit, smiling coquettishly…


{final tips.}

Balance. I stress this a lot; but do bear with me! I believe it’s one of the most important thing to keep in mind when doing everything. If you were to choose a dress with a shorter hemline, opaque tights will tone it down. If you chose pants, a slightly revealing top would be okay – it would be juxtaposed by the concealing of pants. If you want a hint of a cleavage, be sure you cover your arms (if it’s a sleeveless top); make sure the front of the top/dress is conservative if you choose a low-backed dress; etc. Makeup too – emphasize the eyes, simply highlight the lips. Balance is key!

Pack the essentials in a clutch. It’s so much lighter & easier! Chapstick, lipgloss/lipstick, concealer, mascara, etc. And supposedly (according to Cosmopolitan) men assume that women with big bags are either high-maintenance or come with baggage (literally or figuratively).

Oh and darling, never forget a spritz of your favorite perfume! Spritz a bit wherever you want to be kissed (as the great Coco Chanel had once said). I swear by Victoria’s Secret Heavenly: all of my male friends do love it!


La C.

74 Comments leave one →
  1. 19 January 2009 12:40 am

    I wish I had this a week ago! Thanks for the great post.

  2. 19 January 2009 12:42 am

    ou ! this couldn’t have come at a better time ;]


  3. 19 January 2009 1:42 am

    Oooo perfect first date polyvores. On one of my most important first dates (important because I am still with him 😉 ) all I did was wear jeans and a V-neck H&M jersey that kept flopping off my shoulder. It was to a local bar after a day at uni so very super casual. Big hugs and kisses to the first-dater!

  4. 19 January 2009 2:04 am

    very great advice! those pics are adorable! :o)

  5. 19 January 2009 2:15 am

    Thanks for the advice doll. You alway hit the mark 🙂 A first date can cause so much anxiety…but oh that feeling when you’re getting ready, and waiting for him to arrive~!!! Delicious

  6. 19 January 2009 5:46 am

    This is such an amazing post! You make everything easier I love this blog 🙂

  7. 19 January 2009 7:32 am

    hi, darling! i love the last one…for a change…i’m always in a dress or skirt. the outfit gives a little bit of “zing” as how i always describe a food. (*wink!*)

  8. 19 January 2009 7:46 am

    what a wonderfully fun post! and i completely agree with your advice… “wear what you normally wear – just amped up a teensy bit” is maybe the best advice i’ve ever heard for first date stress. perfect. you make me smile as always, darling couturier.

  9. 19 January 2009 8:22 am

    Now I know a bit more about the tactics of the “other” side lol 🙂 If my gf had the last outfit on at our date, we would be married by now:)

  10. 19 January 2009 10:11 am

    Really good advice, all the outfits are perfect ❤

  11. 19 January 2009 11:18 am

    I wish I had a date so I could try out those tips! I love each and every one of the example outfits ^^ I also liked what you said about wearing someting comfortable and not trying too much. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date that I think I would faint by the thought of just picking out an outfit ^^ I will save these tips for when that lovely day comes that I have a date!

    Hugs & Kisses

  12. 19 January 2009 11:48 am

    I think that’s exactly what most boys like ^^. In daytime just a jeans with natural make-up and heels. And for in the evening a more sexy, feminine look. By the way I want those dresses!

  13. 19 January 2009 1:21 pm

    WOW! What a perfect advice…

    This was absolutly big help for Helen. The naturalness his basics, but Already I live in a relationship (6 years), but these advices would have helped of a level. LOL!

    xoxo: Janet

  14. 19 January 2009 1:43 pm

    Thanks ever so much for visiting!
    Your blog is amazing! I shall add it to my page, I hope you don’t mind.
    I shall be coming back soon.

  15. 19 January 2009 2:00 pm

    Ooh, what great tips! The first date is always so difficult to figure out, so thank you – I will definitely be bookmarking this page for future reference!
    Hope your weekend was lovely, darling.

  16. 19 January 2009 2:30 pm

    So lovely post, La C.
    Thank you for your comment,


  17. 19 January 2009 2:31 pm

    fabulous article as always! is this the article ?

  18. 19 January 2009 2:33 pm

    Great post and lovely pics!!

    Yes, perfume! And make sure you take it with you!

  19. 19 January 2009 2:41 pm

    Great tips! Always on point w/ your advice you clever, clever girl 🙂

  20. 19 January 2009 2:46 pm

    Everyday I love ur blog more and more. I passed u and award, I think u already received it, but it really felt like it, u completely deserve it.

  21. 19 January 2009 3:08 pm

    aww thanks darling!

    dexter: hahahahahaha perhaps you should give us ladies some tips as to what the men like? 😉

    miriam: thank you!! 🙂

    La C.

    p.s. : happy martin luther king!

  22. thebaglady permalink
    19 January 2009 3:10 pm

    La C., you are brilliant!!

    i will keep this in mind for the next time i wish to impress the hubby ;). you must have a lot of experience in all you write about, since everything is, as you would say, *impeccable*!

  23. 19 January 2009 3:20 pm

    gorgeous!! very professional post- love it!!
    Thanks for commenting ..I would not have found your blog otherwise 🙂

  24. 19 January 2009 3:55 pm

    Great tips! I couldn’t agree more with the casual/day date dress tips…they kind of echo what I ended up wearing on a first date last week haha.

  25. 19 January 2009 4:03 pm

    Hi sweetie, this is a great post!!!!
    So helpfull tips. I’m married, but I date with Hubby as if we are always having our first date 😉 (crzy people 🙂 )

    I’m sorry you weren’t in my blogroll, but I’ve linked you already 😀


  26. 19 January 2009 4:34 pm

    OMG this post is great! Such good tips!


  27. 19 January 2009 5:11 pm

    LaC, I needed this post way back when (before I got married) heeehee. But i totally love the idea and adore the photos and outfits that go along with your always impeccable words. =]


  28. 19 January 2009 5:26 pm

    thank you honey 🙂
    and ahh great advice, I should have asked you weeks ago when I had a first date!!

  29. 19 January 2009 5:49 pm

    Another great post 🙂
    I admire your knowledge and the way you put it all together 🙂

  30. 19 January 2009 6:08 pm

    You give great advice!

    Nice post 🙂

  31. 19 January 2009 6:21 pm

    another great post!

    this is my favorite tip from you “Keep it simple! Fitted, V-neck tees, with just a teensy glimpse of a cleavage is incredibly sexy.”

    I try to follow that all the time. just a hint of sexiness. Too bad I end up seeing a lot of girls who just let it all hang out. It is a piece of advice that more girls need to follow.

  32. 19 January 2009 6:33 pm

    Such a cool post full of fantastic tips and advise! Keep it up!

  33. kristine permalink
    19 January 2009 6:44 pm

    perfect timing! 🙂 god bless you, La C.!

    p.s.: what did you wear on your first date? 😉

  34. 19 January 2009 6:53 pm

    Fabulous advice, as usual, m’dear! The ultimate tip – be yourself! xx

  35. 19 January 2009 6:57 pm

    What a really great post! 😀

  36. 19 January 2009 7:01 pm

    Ooo I love the last outfit!

  37. 19 January 2009 7:40 pm

    super what to wear on a first date guide my sweet! love all the outfits,cant pick a fave :O)
    hope your well my sweet.
    muah x

  38. 19 January 2009 8:30 pm

    This is such a cute and well thought-out article/post! You always write on the most useful topics, and with the best advice. I am in complete support of your (future) book!!

    Great suggestions here, they are so relevant and practical. There’s a boy I have my eye on, and may need to borrow some of your advice here… 🙂

    I hope you are having a happy monday xx

  39. 19 January 2009 8:40 pm

    oh great blog miss! such good info for all the readers for sure.
    will have to resort back to this the next time i get asked on a date!!!

    love LM xxx LM

  40. 19 January 2009 10:58 pm

    hey girl! your tips are spot on! i have an ex who would beg for me to dress “regular.” I guess he meant that jeans and a low cut v neck tee, huh?

  41. 20 January 2009 12:14 am

    GREAT looks an great advice! if you can’t win him over after all this, he’s just hopeless. 😉

  42. 20 January 2009 2:42 am

    great post. also don’t forget confidence and a have fun attitude.

  43. 20 January 2009 3:14 am

    Great tips! Those outfits are gorgeous 🙂 Some other tips for the ladies, don’t forget to shave and pluck a day before!

  44. 20 January 2009 3:52 am

    Hi there-a lovely informative post my dear!!

  45. 20 January 2009 7:18 am

    overwhelming outfits!! your tips look very live. ..would be delighted to have you at my blog: Spa

  46. 20 January 2009 7:48 am

    first date is so important!! and so sweet!!
    … and very stressful!! hahaha…

  47. 20 January 2009 8:31 am

    lovely post! always cute!

  48. 20 January 2009 11:35 am

    Useful post – as usual.

    Your posts are always so sweet – You’d be a great writer!


  49. 20 January 2009 12:32 pm

    I Love these outfits… Perfect for the first date 🙂

  50. 20 January 2009 12:46 pm

    wow the fist two pics are stunning. that girl is such a beauty!
    and your post is so helpful as usual. love it.

    thanks darling for you kind words


  51. 20 January 2009 12:49 pm

    Thanks for the tips. & Most important–be yourself!

  52. 20 January 2009 1:03 pm

    Perfect post baby, but you never get it wrong!

    I agreee. Jeans are definitely a girl’s best friend… the versatility is fantastic, especially in this scenario.

    Oh, and I have to add that the images are so lovely!


  53. 20 January 2009 1:14 pm

    Great post, so cute. xoxo

  54. 20 January 2009 1:18 pm

    great post 🙂

  55. 20 January 2009 3:22 pm

    great post!

  56. 20 January 2009 6:07 pm

    wonderful advice, us girls always forget it’s often easy to impress on a first date b/c, as you say, they’re already hooked!

  57. 20 January 2009 7:16 pm

    Oh this is good!

  58. 20 January 2009 7:35 pm

    very very helpful post for sure! for the next time i go on a first date… i haven’t gone in agessss but when i do i will pull this post out fo shooooooo! hehehe thanks sweeetie!

  59. sowoo permalink
    20 January 2009 7:40 pm


    haha! I love you and your entries.

    1. Foreign Reader? Verryyy niceeee :]
    2. Teen Vogue pics yes? so adorable :]

    love you lots ❤ keep it goin ❤

  60. 20 January 2009 8:50 pm

    what a great post! perfect for vday.. ❤

  61. 20 January 2009 10:31 pm

    i love your site!! nicely done, current, and great advice!!!
    interesting article too.
    the jeans guru,
    my Designer Jeans
    ( at good prices too. )

  62. 20 January 2009 10:39 pm

    I love this article! It’s quite helpful! I wish I had had is earlier though, would’ve helped a heck load then. 😛

  63. 21 January 2009 5:30 am

    i love this post! 🙂


  64. 21 January 2009 12:50 pm

    such a great post! and i would wear all those cute outfits!

  65. 21 January 2009 4:43 pm

    great advice! i nevvverr know what to wear on dates

  66. 21 January 2009 8:48 pm

    Gorgeous outfits! And the models are very cute together 🙂

  67. 23 January 2009 7:16 pm

    OMG THAT TEEN VOGUE SPREAD IS LIKE MY FAVORITE EVER. seriously. I loved that editorial!

  68. 25 January 2009 8:21 am

    great post! what helpful hints.

  69. 27 January 2009 7:25 am

    This is a great article. 🙂

    Simple is definitely chic!


  70. 12 February 2009 12:17 pm

    I liked your tips very much. They would really help an embarrassed dater. I guess you would not mind if I join you with my small piece of advice. Dear daters, especially girls. All you have to do on a date is to stay as natural as possible. That is all your dater wants to see. And do not worry. You always look wonderful in your dater’s eyes.

  71. Thenew1 permalink
    24 June 2009 11:15 pm

    OMG!! I love your advice!
    It is my first date with this guy I have liked so much for a long time and I wanted to impress him. Thank you for your advice and I will definately take what you wrote into consideration!! You are brilliant!

    • 25 June 2009 10:27 am

      Thenew1: Aww thank you so much! (: I’m glad that I could be of help, and best of luck with your date! Although you probably don’t need it (;


  72. 29 May 2013 3:35 am

    Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is excellent, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about the stylist& .


  1. kisses of approval. « la couturier

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